As A Stepparent, Kamala Harris Puts ‘Families You Choose’ In The Spotlight
Enlarge this image
Beth McDonough (center) with her wife and stepdaughter. «Whether it’s right or wrong, we still look to the president’s family and the vice president’s family as a representation of what the quintessential American family looks like, said McDonough.
Via Beth McDonough
hide caption
toggle caption
Via Beth McDonough
National
Poised To Be America’s 1st Second Gentleman, Doug Emhoff Shakes Up Gender Stereotypes
«It really, really means a lot — more than I expected — to have a new symbol to attach to the word, McDonough said. «So when kids are growing up now, they’re going to think of the word ‘stepmom’ and they’re going to think of the vice president of the United States and the first lady [Jill Biden]. And when they think of family, they’re going to think of blended families and stepfamilies.
Harris and Emhoff were set up on a blind date by Harris’ best friend, Chrisette Hudlin, who gave her one instruction: Don’t Google him, don’t overthink it. Harris didn’t.
They had an hourlong phone call and a first date in Los Angeles. After their second date, Emhoff was ready to introduce Harris to his children, who were in high school and middle school. But in her memoir, Harris wrote that though she was eager to meet them, she pumped the brakes.
Enlarge this image
Doug Emhoff (left), husband of Vice President-elect Kamala Harris, and children Ella and Cole Emhoff stand onstage after Harris launched her presidential campaign at a rally in Oakland, Calif., on Jan. 27, 2019.
Tony Avelar/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Tony Avelar/AP
National
Elation, Frustration: For Women, Kamala Harris’ Win Is A Big Step, But Long Overdue
How Kamala became «Momala
During her first speech as a member of the Democratic presidential ticket, Harris pulled back the curtain on her family life. She described cooking Sunday dinner, cheering on the bleachers at swim meets and the chosen name that Cole and Ella picked for her. She has written that the word «stepmom didn’t fit for her family.
«I’ve had a lot of titles over my career, she said at the Democratic National Convention in August. «But ‘Momala’ will always be the one that means the most.
The word «Momala trended on Twitter. During the DNC, Ella Emhoff joined Harris’ sister, Maya, and niece, Meena, to introduce the Democratic vice presidential nominee to the nation.
«You’re a rock, not just for our dad, but for three generations of our big blended family, Ella Emhoff said, again calling her «Momala, which rhymes with Harris’ first name.
Enlarge this image
Vice President-elect Kamala Harris and her husband, Doug Emhoff, stand onstage during the Democratic National Convention on Aug. 19.
Olivier Douliery/AFP via Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Olivier Douliery/AFP via Getty Images
Code Switch
In Harris, Black Sororities And Fraternities Celebrate One Of Their Own
Elections
‘Game-Changer’: Kamala Harris Makes History As Next Vice President
In his 2007 memoir, Joe Biden described the role that Jill played in healing his family, writing that «I’m sort of used to being in charge, but in truth it was Jill and the boys who shaped the contours of our remade family.
«At first I wasn’t even sure what to do with Neilia’s pictures in the house, but Jill made that easy: When she embraced me and the boys, she embraced everything, Biden wrote.
After Joe Biden remarried, Jill gave birth to their daughter, Ashley, in 1981.
Padilla, 57, had a daughter when she met her husband. He was raising two teenagers after his wife’s death. Her daughter was 3 1/2 and her bonus kids were 14 and 17 when the couple married.
«My bonus daughter couldn’t wait to have another mother because she lost her mom when she was young, said Padilla, who lives in Carlsbad, Calif. «But my bonus son, who was a little younger, he was angry and resentful that I was going to be in his life and that he lost his mother.
Coming together did not come without some bumps along the road, Padilla explained.
«It’s big footprints that you’re trying to step into. And you know, that person has left and will always be this wonderful memory, without any flaws, she said. «And here you are, this flawed human, trying to pick up the pieces and carry that out.
As her bonus kids have grown into adults, Padilla said, their relationships have matured into «very nice, lovely friendships.
«I will never be their mother, but they’re my children, she said. «I love them as friends. And I honor and respect that they had a mom before me.
«Families you choose
Enlarge this image
Clockwise from top left: Jason Deitz, Ana Ware, Jason Ware, Indigo Ware and Gwen Deitz.
Ware-Deitz family
hide caption
toggle caption
Ware-Deitz family
Clockwise from top left: Jason Deitz, Ana Ware, Jason Ware, Indigo Ware and Gwen Deitz.
Ware-Deitz family
Jason Ware, 43, of Rockville, Md., sees no distinction between the daughter he gained by marriage, Gwen Deitz, and the 5-year-old daughter, Indigo Ware, whom he and his wife had together. They’re both just his daughters.
Ware and his wife, Ana Ware, have the kind of relationship with their elder daughter’s other father that Harris describes having with Cole and Ella’s mother, Kerstin Emhoff. They became friends, and Harris has written, «We sometimes joke that our modern family is almost a little too functional.
Ware’s family has stayed close to Gwen’s father, who is also named Jason and lives about a mile from them. Jason Deitz comes over for dinner a few times a week.
Ware compared their collective parenting style to «coequal branches of government.
«We definitely come to it from a democratic sense of the rules. I don’t have a lesser vote because I’m a stepparent, he said.
They are so close that last Christmas, Jason and Ana Ware gave Deitz a letter that said if something were to happen to them, they’d want him to raise their daughter, Indie.
«I have such incredible faith in Jason, Ware said. «I want him to raise her as his own as well, because he’s allowed me the space and the opportunity to raise his daughter as my own.
When he thinks about Harris and Emhoff, as well as the Bidens, Ware said it’s refreshing to see families like his celebrated. Perhaps the visibility will mean some of the societal stigma will be shed and people will see families like his the way they see themselves: as just a normal family.
«It’s normal, and it is healthy and it’s good and it’s celebrated, Ware said. «I do see that in the first family and the second family. There is not just a nuclear family anymore. It’s families you love, and families you choose, and you consistently choose, day after day.
Обсудим?
Смотрите также:
