COVID Love Story: Can A Malawian Bachelor And A Dutch Bachelorette Make It?

Enlarge this image

Patrick Phiri of Malawi and fiance Fiona ten Have of Holland kiss in her parents’ garden. The couple met in Malawi, where they worked for the same charity, and fell in love. A 3-week visit to the Netherlands turned into 7 months due to pandemic lockdowns and travel restrictions.

Julia Gunther for NPR

hide caption

toggle caption

Julia Gunther for NPR

Enlarge this image

Meet the Dutch parents: Patrick and Fiona with her dad and mom, Aaldert and Rita. Patrick was nervous about meeting her folks for the first time — and then ended up staying with them for months because of pandemic travel restrictions.

Julia Gunther for NPR

hide caption

toggle caption

Julia Gunther for NPR

Goats and Soda
How Do You Survive A Pandemic? These Women Have Lessons For Us All

«In the beginning it was great! I thought ‘Yes! He gets to stay another week,’ Fiona says. Then she found a job with the local health authority, calling people to tell them they tested positive for COVID-19.

Patrick spent more and more time alone. As the weeks went by, he became despondent. «It was hard because I was stuck. I could do nothing, Patrick recalls. He found it difficult to deal with the stress, and he missed his daughter.

Fiona did what she could. «Whenever he had a bad day I would try to be there. A hug or a kiss, whatever we needed, to let each other know that we still love each other.

Fiona was promoted, responsible for a team of health workers. She was working 50 to 60 hours a week.

And Patrick eventually found ways to keep himself busy, from doing odd jobs at her parents’ house to visiting farms to learn about their animals. He also re-rediscovered his love for painting. «I used to paint animals when I was a child. But when I grew older I no longer had the time. Fiona found him an easel, and Patrick began painting scenes that reminded him of home. He even sold a few pieces, including a depiction of Malawi’s «Big Five wild animals on a door that a villager commissioned.

Patrick began painting as a way to pass the time in the village of Middelstum, while waiting for flights to open up. After borrowing an easel from a family friend, Patrick spent the summer painting scenes from Malawi to remind him of home.

Julia Gunther for NPR

hide caption

toggle caption

Julia Gunther for NPR

One unexpected outcome for Patrick was the embrace of the village community: «Everyone knew my story. People would come up to me and ask, ‘How are you?'

But it took him a while to get used to the famous directness of the Dutch. «Here people will talk about things very openly, like illness or other private experiences. In Malawi we don’t open up this much about our lives.

Patrick and Fiona visit a neighboring dairy farm. Having grown up on a farm, Patrick was keen to see the milking carousel.

Julia Gunther for NPR

hide caption

toggle caption

Julia Gunther for NPR

On September 1, Malawi re-opened its airports for a limited number of international flights. But obstacles still loomed, from flight cancellations to a lack of funds for a new ticket.

But on November 3, the stars aligned. Patrick flew home.

«It has not really hit me yet that he’s gone. I really miss him when I wake up, says Fiona.

Patrick, too, is struggling with the separation: «I feel so lonely.

The bride- and groom-to-be are excited about 2021. «I am looking forward to starting a life with my beautiful Fiona, says Patrick. Fiona, who hopes to move to Malawi in May, looks back on their seven months together as a blessing in disguise. Her parents got to know Patrick better than they could have ever hoped for.

«Our cultures are so different, that initially caused some friction, but as we got to know Patrick, we saw what a great guy he was, says Aaldert. Rita will miss her daughter when she moves to Malawi. «But if she is happy there, then we are too.

Patrick feels his time in Middelstum was a transformative experience for Fiona and him. «We faced this challenge as a couple. Sure, we had our fair share of fights, but we resolved them.

Fiona believes living together so intensely for 7 months made them stronger. «Patrick has learnt to share his emotions with me. We’ve survived and are more in love than ever.

And for Patrick and Fiona, that’s a romantic silver lining to the global pandemic.

Nick Schonfeld is an award-winning advertising writer. In 2015, he quit his job and now divides his time between writing children’s books and working on stories about affordable health care, gender equality, education and social justice.